Blogs dating over 40
There is increasing evidence that, in face-to-face meetings, we are subconsciously picking up clues about the suitability of future partners based on a wide variety of non-verbal information.Online dating lures us with the false promise of an “ideal” partner so much that we apply filters that ensure we never get to meet that person in the first place.To answer this, let’s take a look at some of the main reasons online dating doesn’t work. Researchers in the UK recently calculated the odds of finding a compatible partner if they used the average person’s requirements (in terms of desired age, physical requirements, location, and so on).They found that just over 84,440 people in the UK fit the average person’s requirements, from an adult population of 47 million. In other words, applying the average person’s filters when it comes to finding a compatible partner gives you less than a 1 in 500 chance of being successful.You would at least talk to someone before you’d go anywhere near finding out what their pet preferences were …and you’d then use your own judgement about whether you liked them or not.In the US, online dating is now the second most common way for heterosexual couples to meet (behind introductions through friends). After millions of years of human evolution, and thousands of years of the development of human society, humans had settled on the idea that in-person interactions through fun, face-to-face social activities were the best way to meet new people.And then along came online dating to blow that idea away.
Some sites take this to an extreme degree and let you go nuts specifying the attributes you want: professional background, religion, salary, ethnicity, personal habits, even pet preferences!Unfortunately, when you’re reading the profiles of other people, it’s easy to forget that this rule applies to them, too.You know that what you’re seeing isn’t an accurate representation of them, but it doesn’t stop you from judging them on it anyway.Nobody’s profile really represents what they’re like in real life.And as a result, you will either underestimate them – and dismiss someone who could be a good match – or else overestimate them and then be disappointed when you meet in person.
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The promise of making it easier to find your “ideal” companion by letting you add filters to hone in on specific requirements has actually had the opposite effect, diminishing your pool to the point it becomes almost impossible to find anyone!