Christian dating controlling behaviors list
Does your partner like to check up on you when you're out to make sure you're where you said you'd be?
Do they need constant reassurance that you're faithful and love them?
Psychology Today points out that control is often manifested as a response to serious insecurity, and that the controlling partner makes their lover "responsible" for quelling that insecurity by being reassuring, constantly reiterating or passing "tests" about their faithfulness, and buoying them up by following their ideas and rules.
The insecurity has not come from the relationship itself, though, so no matter how many hoops the partner jumps through, they're never going to solve it.
Why wouldn't you tell them everything about where you're going and who you're with? It's a classic manipulation technique, double-binding you into a position you don't want to be in.
The controller puts themselves in the position of "protector," keeping the delicate, much-loved controlled person "safe" from bad decisions, hurtful influences — from anything, to be honest, other than the controller.
It's a dominating tactic, even if it seems to come from a place of devotion and charm.
It means relinquishing decision-making to the person who "knows best" and who is "just looking out for your safety."This is part of the belittling cycle, but it's got its own special flavor.
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Psych Central offers several explanations for this core terror: "Generally it’s because they are scared of the vulnerability that comes with loving and trusting someone. and fear being hurt again." Just because past betrayal exists, however, does not mean that all future relationships need to be measured in that mold.