Dating after divorce and how that effects a child
While there have been several studies on divorce, remarriage and step-parenting, very few exist for the courtship period parents go through before remarriage.Here are some guidelines to consider concerning post-divorced dating and your children: Adjusting to the idea of dating isn’t just for parents. Constance Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce and We’re Still Family and professor emeritus at University Southern California, recently completed a 20 year longitudinal study on children of divorce.This may be because of the diverted attention in the wake of limited time together due to custody issues.Another possibility is the potential for the new relationship to be the cause of the parent’s divorce.Your attitudes and behaviors on dating will be a model for your children.Teenage children are entering a new world of dating behavior that may include sex, and will look to their parents as models of behavior. Research has shown that single parents’- and especially mothers’- attitudes and behaviors on sex and dating influence their children’s attitudes and behaviors.
If the decision has been made to bring the new partner into the child’s life, make sure that they meet on neutral territory (i.e., not home) in a casual setting.Take your time; it is important to proceed with confidence in your choices. It’s one of those situations no one wants to find themselves, but unfortunately, it’s a reality for many. It’s only natural for people to start looking to the future and moving on once sufficient healing has taken place.This includes taking care of yourself, making sure that you spend quality one-on-one time with your children, and ensuring that all potential dating partners will be good role models for your children. Rios Paulsen LMFT, MS coaches parents to successfully navigate the divorce and parenting process in the best interest of their children. She has 15 years’ experience coaching thousands of parents in the divorce, conflict and court process.She has written two books on children and divorce, The 7 Fatal Mistakes Divorced and Separated Parents Make: Strategies for Raising Healthy Children of Divorce and Conflict & Healthy Children of Divorce in 10 Simple Steps: Strategies for Raising Healthy Children of Divorce If you answered no to any of the above questions, you are not yet ready to introduce your child to the person you are dating.