We experience it today when we attend an Arab or an Iranian wedding. They don’t want to sound mercenary although “marwaadism” is in their blood . And it does show its ugly face when a Khoja groom marries an Arab bride. There is one more thing to do before you partake in a sumptuous meal – a long wedding party (males, of course) line made of the families and close relatives of the bride and groom.Whatever the agreed dowry, the Arab bride (or her family) would make sure the groom pays it before the marriage is consummated. They stand on one side as the congregation passes by offering their good wishes.A college degree or being able to speak in local accent should not be a criterion in picking an MC.The problem with having these youngsters take on the important function of moderating the proceedings is that they have no experience and understanding of the time element.Would the guests be ever relieved from this torture? We have to have somebody recite a Qasida or a series of Shayris as if it was part of the community’s accepted normal mode of entertainment. Then, having exhausted any further ways of testing the patience of the guests, the MC finally announces that it is time for the nuptial ceremony.And there is nothing romantic about an Islamic nuptial.To feed into the Shia victim mentality, there will invariably be the recitation of Hadith-e-Kisa, followed by recitation from the Holy book (Arabic and English, to cater to some of the foreigners who are invited to bear the punishment of boredom), and of course a little (30-minute) of majalis by a Mullah.Those sermons are normally very dull and full of advices to the protagonists, citing the relationship the Prophet or the Imams had with their spouses.
They are almost always issued invoking the memories of dead people.At least funerals are better as there is an occasional emotional outburst and the melancholy in itself provides the quiet drama.But our weddings are different and frankly nothing about them make any sense.Guests are invited (by the family of dead people) at a specific time and the proceedings never commence on time. Except for the Khoja weddings, there is never a wedding ceremony commencing without the presence of the two protagonists – the bride and the groom – in one room.In Khoja weddings, the bride and the groom are almost always late.