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Validation is a way of communicating that the relationship is important and solid even when you disagree on issues.Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person's thoughts,feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable. Holding someone's hand when they are having a painful medical treatment, listening with your whole mind and doing nothing but listening to a child describe their day in first grade, and going to a friend's house at midnight to sit with her while she cries because a supposed friend told lies about her are all examples of being present.One of the four options we have in any problem situation is acceptance.Validation is one way that we communicate acceptance of ourselves and others. When your best friend or a family member makes a decision that you really don't think is wise, validation is a way of supporting them and strengthening the relationship while maintaining a different opinion.
Level five is normalizing or recognizing emotional reactions that anyone would have.The second level of validation is accurate reflection.Accurate reflection means you summarize what you have heard from someone else or summarize your own feelings.Self-validation is the recognition and acceptance of your own thoughts, feelings, sensations and behaviors as understandable. Multi-tasking while you listen to your teenager's story about his soccer game is not being present.Learning how to use validation effectively takes practice. Being present means giving all your attention to the person you are validating.